Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
