And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
