Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
my liver is dry heaving
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize