have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
