it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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