That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Terrible idea I love it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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