yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
