Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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