mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Alive.
So much puke
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
