it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
