You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize