it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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