I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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