Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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