We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You dont lie about slip and slides
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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