why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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