i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
