does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
