My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
