When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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