she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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