He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
