what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
