yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
