ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
