I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dicks are not precious.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
