I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize