we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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