new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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