i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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