He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
