Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
