If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize