after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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