I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we should paint friendship bongs
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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