Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
