Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
