i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Randomize
