pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
