I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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