just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
