I think scott just propositioned me for sex
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
