Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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