My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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