If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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