just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
