we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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