Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
