Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
