His hands were made for my vagina.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
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I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
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My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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