but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
