She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
