doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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