I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
