so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
