I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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