don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
