Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
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He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize