it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
