when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize