Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I love you. Go after that dick
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
