1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I want to fling myself into the sun
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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