I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to have your abortion
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
