haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
