i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The best revenge is premature balding
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
