Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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